Here's lookin at ya!

Among your favorite places...where we once stood together. I took in the view today and smiled back thinking of you, Mom. I love you.

Message from the Battleground

Life is like "WAR" in a sense. I do not think we lost the war but we did loose a Battle. In that Battle we lost one "Soldier, our Mom, Wife and best Friend. It is definitely not easy being on the Battleground watching the smoke still rise, but i think this only makes us stronger to keep prepared for WAR and stronger for the next Battle. Although the smoke is still rising on the Battleground, I will continue to browse around to keep any flames from flaring up. I guess this means a trip out west.

Last night the girls and I went up to the Flock leader house to have a traditional steak dinner.
Today Margaret, Marissa and I are visiting a farm in southern Chester county to check out baby Lambs that were just born.

Shawn

I wish I could tell ya

I imagined on my first day back in LA I'd want to tell my mom how great the weather is and even post a picture of the ocean, my favorite view, from the place I took here when she came to visit. And I do. But what I really wish I could tell her is that I stumbled upon these pillows yesterday--with an Ostrich on it!!! I know she'd be having me buy them ASAP if she was here. So I think I may have to go back to the store and do just that. But for now, I just wanted to share them with anyone who's still reading...as those who know my mom well, know she would LOVE these pillows.

I'd like to think of it as a sign...she's finding ways to pop up in/around LA already and I'm just back for a day. And I guess that's what gets ya through.

Smiles everyone, today wasn't so bad.

Love,

jen

From the battleground to the homefront

I feel like I went to war. Not a “typical” war of course where my life is threatened on a daily basis. But a period of time that is so intense, where you see and do things that most people should never have to see or do in a lifetime. Like watch your mother fight for her life on a daily basis. Or see her literally take her last breath, going from warm to cold.

I feel like I went to war. I left LA and went to Philadelphia for what became a 6 week war. It was a much longer trip than I anticipated when I first came home but in many ways it was the longest and shortest 6 weeks of my life. And in those 6 weeks I bonded with my family in a way I never knew was possible. We found strength in each other and ourselves that we would’ve never known possible before this tragic time.

I feel like I went to war and have since been relocated back “home” but my wounded soldiers are still so near the battlefield where we all once stood. I’m leaving behind my “blood brothers,” my fearless flock leader and the smiles of the most amazing kids in the world. I just hope I'm not leaving behind my strength.

I feel like I went to war. And now it’s time to return to "life." It will never be the same, but I’m alive, I’m grateful and if for nothing else, I will live life to the fullest, just as my Mom would want. I have to.

Albert's Speech

I'd like to thank everyone for spending the time following Kate's journey on this blog. We wish it had a different ending. And thanks to all for attending the service and shiva and for the outpours of cards and warm sentiments.

For those of you who could not make the service, below is the speech I read for my wife.

-- Albert

My Kate,

I have known Kate over 45 years.

I can remember the first time that I saw her since high school, I recall thinking what was wrong with me for not knowing her sooner. After a few dates that I had with her I had to join the Marine Corp. While in the corps I would receive letters from her every day. I knew then she was the girl that I would marry.

That was the best decision I made in my entire life. True we had our arguments, but they seem to have made our closeness even stronger.

She raised our three children with her love of life and happiness, respect to others and how important it is to be truthful.

The two of us had a very special closeness, we loved to be together, travel, play golf, and right down to helping each other with cleaning our home and our vacation home, which we both loved.

Not only was she my wife she was my buddy, a friendship that I will never be able to replace.

Since January 8, 2010 seeing her actually dying, which I believed she knew, in front of me was the most torture any one can handle. But when I would come into the hospital to see her, I’d say hello and I love you and she would open her big brown eyes with joy and while you could barely read her weak lips, she would still say, I love you too.

It was a great honor to know Kate while she was with us, she’s the life of the party. And it will be a greater honor for those who will have the opportunity to meet and play golf with her in her next life. Look out golfers because she is ready. Her request was to be dressed in her best golf outfit along with her putter.

And I say one more time- I Love you Kate!

I thank you all for coming to help us remember and honor Kate.

Shawn's Speech

I again want to thank all my family and friends for the support they are giving.
They say the pain will get easier in time. I can not imagine a second, minute or hour where its going to be easy with out Mom. What I do know is the FLOCK will stick together.

SPEECH:
I never thought in a million years that I would be standing up on this Bima for the reason I am. I’m usually up here to be the Bima guest reading announcements or giving a power point presentation to the congregation. .

Courage – The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain without fear; bravery

Love – A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Strength – The quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power.

Dignity – nobility or elevation of character; worthiness, dignity of sentiments,

Loyal – Faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity; a loyal friend.

These are only a few words that fit my mom.

Mother and I had so many similarities, we love to chat, we love to go on walks, Spending time together in the green house taught me everything I know about plants, mom showed me how to cook, how to love, how to respect. Mom could dance and dance for a long time but couldn't’t get down like me.
My mom was an extremely protective mother for her family.
I’ll never forget how much fun mom and I had when I was dads replacement in couples golf. Dad was recovering from neck issues. The competitive edge we both brought to the game got us third place. While mom was not electronically inclined, she did learn quickly how to text message from the cell phone. So this past October and November, mom would send me daily text messages about all the deer in the neighborhood she saw on her morning walk, their location, a buck or a doe, how many points, if they are in dembi or up at her house.

Some interesting facts-
•15,300 lunch sandwiches mom maid for my dad, brother and I, not including Jen.
• 15,000 gourmet dinners were cooked for my dad.
• Technically speaking we refer to several ostriches grouped together as a Herd not a Flock, but I like flock better.
• Ostriches typically eat plants, roots and seeds. My mom loved to grow plants, was proud of her roots and helped put the seed in me to make me the man I am today.
• Ostriches produce the strongest commercially available leather in the world. This explains how my mom was such a strong person and was able fight so hard to the end.
• Lastly, Ostriches do not bury there head in the sand.

Experiencing this incomprehensible tragedy, I am again reminded of how strong my family’s dignity, love, courage, and strength is. The power of family and friends is one of the most amazing and important things in the world to me. I hope and pray that this will make me and all of us even stronger and further motivate each and every one of us to love and cherish what you have this given moment.

Shawn David Ostrich

For My Mom......

Its been almost a week and we still can't believe my mom is no longer with us. She was larger then life and I can still feel her energy and hear her voice. It has been comforting to know she will be missed by so many. As a tribute to her, here are the words I spoke at the funeral.....

Jake


Good morning. Those of you who know me, know I am a man of few words. But I could not let this day pass without sharing some thoughts about my beloved mother, Kate.

My story combines the past and the present and dates back to 1988, my senior year in high school. During those years, I was an avid lacrosse player, playing for Radnor. My mom never missed a game, and she was our biggest, loudest cheering fan. Many times the coach would say, and I quote, “Mrs. O, Mrs. O please stand back a little bit you are too far out on the field.” I can still hear her screaming with all her might, “get them guys” “don’t let them the score”. Her voice, along with her beautiful heart were filled with HOPE, PERSISTENCE, and DETERMINATION! It didn’t take long for Mrs. O to be the voice of our team. I loved that my mom would always include everyone, wherever she was, and that included each and every one of my teammates.

During the last few hours I spent with her in the hospital I made a direct connection between the lacrosse field and my mother’s brave fight against the disease that was taking over her body. That same heart that was filled with HOPE, PERSISTANCE, and DETERMINATION that cheered for us on the lacrosse field, was the same heart that gave her the strength to fight her fight over this last month. Although her organs might have failed her in the end, it was her heart that never skipped a beat. That was one of the qualities I loved most about her and hope to pass onto my children. Mom, be at peace and know that Stephanie, Drew, Alex, Sophie and I will love and miss and you always!

Jen's Speech

We thought for those of you who were not part of the service we could share the things we read about Kate. We will each post our own, so for now, here is mine (for the lyrics at the end, I actually played the song Forever Young, I knew my mom would want the music playing!).

Dear Mom,

Among the many things I will always cherish, our written sentiments are on the top of my list. You were always the first card I received in the mail no matter the holiday--Halloween, valentine’s day or my birthday. And each time I came back to your house to visit, there was always a note left in my bedroom welcoming me and then I started leaving you notes back at the end of my visits so you’d find them when you next came up to my room. And there are just so many other notes in between—thank yous, cards that just said how much you loved me or were proud of me and of course the cards we recently exchanged after our fun-filled weekend in LA.

So here is one more written sentiment to add to our collection. I could go on and on with stories and memories but instead, in this letter I want to tell you some of the many things I love and honor about you, specifically 8 things you’ve taught me that I promise to never lose sight of.

You taught me what true friendship is—how to know when you have it and how to hold onto it.

You always said if I could count my true best friends on one hand to consider that lucky. Many friends would come and go in my life you said, but if there were a few that always remained, I’d be blessed. You helped me see that those friends would be the most loyal and trustworthy and you taught me that those traits are invaluable. You’ve helped me be the best friend I possibly can to those around me.

You taught me that honesty and trust prevail.

You always said that you’ll trust someone until they give you a reason not to, and then trust has to be earned back. I’ll never forget how that theory got tested when I lied to you in high school about where I was going and you found out I was at a party and boy if you didn’t waste time calling the party and ultimately showing up (of course I was already making a b-line home to try and sneak back into bed). But beyond that, you helped me see that people deserve the benefit of the doubt, that life is too short to live through mistrust. But if something changes that, then you must work together to regain that trust.

You taught me that the simplest things in life are the most meaningful.

You always said you didn’t care about gifts, that if I made the effort to pick out a card for you and write a nice note that’s all you wanted. You loved spending time with your family—to you, that’s so much of what life was about. So as I matured, I learned to appreciate our simple things together that much more--the trips to the mall, the lunches, the manicures, the morning phone calls, the texts and emails that we’d share when we thought of something to tell one another or just the ones that said “ you go girl, I love you.”

You taught me about give and take—that you don’t give to get, and acts of love and kindness shouldn’t come with expectation.

You are one of the most generous people I know. The love and devotion you give to your family and friends are immeasurable. And how you have showered all of us and your grandkids with everything we could ever want. You always said you didn’t grow up with much and it made you so happy to be able to give us things you never had. And through all of that, it was never about you needing or wanting something in return, you were fulfilled just by the sheer act of being kind.

You taught me life is best lived at its fullest.

If there’s one thing for sure, Mom, you enjoyed yourself. You weren’t afraid to indulge in your favorite things (and you always said you were worse when we were together) whether it be a hunk of candy, a glass of Pinot Grigio or a good dinner out. And you always had fun. Give you a dance floor, a microphone, a golf club, a home filled with hungry kids, a beautiful day outside, anything. You bring so much energy to all you do, you truly lived life to the fullest. And in honor of you, I will always do the same.

You taught me what it means to be wise.

You thought sometimes because you didn’t work in the “corporate world” and operate computers, etc that you weren’t as smart as some. But the things I’ve learned from you are among the most significant and more than any professor, classroom or job could ever teach me. The things I share with you in this letter and millions of other things you’ve taught me along the way. Just like your mother, my Nana, you are wise. And I can only hope that I’ll be as wise as you some day.

You taught me what it means to be unselfish.

As a mother, a wife, a grandmother, and friend—you always put others ahead of yourself. If someone needed something, they didn’t even need to ask and you’d be there. You worried and cared to such an incredible degree if those around you were happy and fulfilled and you did everything you could to ensure it stayed that way. You never put yourself ahead of others. You gave so much of yourself to others and especially me. Beyond anyone else in my entire life, I always knew you were there for me, no matter what. And that’s why when it came down to it, me and my life became secondary and there was no place else I would’ve ever been than right by your side during this past month, because you would’ve been right by mine. You’re my #1.

Finally, you taught me what unconditional love is.

From everything I mentioned above and for everything you’ve done for me throughout my life, it’s clear that you love me unconditionally. But I feel I really put our love to a test when I told you I wanted to move out to California to find my own path, to paint a bright new canvas for myself. You were none too pleased about it when I first mentioned it and I think part of you was hoping I’d never actually do it. But just as you taught me to never give up on my dreams, I made this dream a reality. And it was my 33^rd birthday, about 6 weeks before I moved that I realized once again how truly amazing of a mother you are.

You had me over for my birthday dinner, with ice cream cake of course, and you showered me with a big bag of gifts. Filled in that bag was all things Philadelphia—Eagles, Phillies, a sticker for my soon to be new car, and other fun things for my new apartment so I’d never forget where I came from. And then at the bottom of the bag was a ring box. And in that box was one of your gorgeous pieces of jewelry that Dad had given you and that I always loved and you wanted to hand down to me. You told me you wanted to watch me wear it in good health, while you were still on this earth and you wanted a part of you to always be with me even if more miles would now be between us.

It was at that moment that I realized that while you were the person I knew I was hurting the most by making this move and going so far, you truly were my biggest supporter. And that’s when I understood how unconditional your love was for me. I remember I sent you an email to that effect a few days after my birthday just telling you how moved I was and how incredible you are. And you replied:

“Hi Jen, just read your letter. You deserve everything I gave u and more. I will always save this letter, very touching, your mommy always ooxx”

And ever since I moved away, you’ve been my biggest cheerleader—so proud of the move I made and the life I created. And the visit we shared in LA together this past October was the best gift you could have ever given me, I just so wish it wasn’t our last.

Before I end my letter to you Mom, I have one closing sentiment. On a very special day in my life, my Bat Mitzvah, you read to me the words of Rod Stewart’s song, Forever Young. And ever since then it’s been “our song.”

I remember running on the beach a few months ago and the song came on my iPod and I re-listened to the words and realized with the new found distance between us the words took on an even greater meaning. When I said that to you, you agreed, as you too had recently heard the song.

Well as I’m here now writing you this letter, the song has now taken on an even more significant meaning. So I’ll play the song for you, and I’ll say to you, Mom, you will always be my #1, you’ll remain forever young in my heart.

I love you.

jen

FOREVER YOUNG, Rod Stewart

May the good Lord be with you

Down every road you roam

And may sunshine and happiness

surround you when you're far from home

And may you grow to be proud

Dignified and true

And do unto others

As you'd have done to you

Be courageous and be brave

And in my heart you'll always stay

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

May good fortune be with you

May your guiding light be strong

Build a stairway to heaven

with a prince or a vagabond

And may you never love in vain

and in my heart you will remain

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young

Forever Young

And when you finally fly away

I'll be hoping that I served you well

For all the wisdom of a lifetime

No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose

I'm right behind you, win or lose

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young ,Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

For, Forever Young, Forever Young

We Sent Kate off in Style

Yesterday was a tough day.

But I know my Mom is somewhere so utterly honored and humbled by all of the kind words said about her and the outpours of people that came to her service and shiva. She truly is loved by so many and just hope she was able to look down on the entire thing and see how she'll be missed.

We encourage you to keep her spirit alive through memories and stories. If you join us at Shiva, you can write in the memory book we have for her or if you stop by the house anytime thereafter, just ask to see the memory book so you too can share a story.

OR, please feel free to write things on this blog. We can always print things out for her memory book. And in the upcoming days and weeks, this blog can certainly help get us all through by sharing all the things we know, love and remember about Kate.

We've so enjoyed having this blog to connect with all of you--we share someone very special in common, my Mom, so for me it would mean a lot to still be able to share things here.

Much love,

jen

Hotbird's new journey

We share with great sadness that our beloved Mother & Wife, Kate, passed away peacefully today at 1:15pm. She was surrounded by Albert, Jen, Jake & Stephanie, and Shawn & Lisa as she passed. She was comfortable and at ease. While we are heartbroken at having to say goodbye, it brings us comfort to know she is now at peace.

The funeral will be held this Monday, February 15th at 9:30am at Temple Brith Achim.

Address: 481 S. Gulph Road, King of Prussia PA 19406

www.brithachim.org

The family will be observing shiva at the Ostrich residence Monday & Tuesday evening starting around 6:30pm.

Address: 625 County Line Road, Radnor PA 19087

In lieu of flowers the family requests that you please make a donation in Kate's honor to the American Cancer Society.

Address: P.O. Box 22718 Oklahoma City, OK 73123-1718

www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp

We love you Hotbird, let your new journey begin.

A time for goodbyes

We learned today that Mom’s liver is going into failure and she will soon drift off into a sleep-induced coma. We gathered around her tonight and all said our goodbyes and we had the Rabbi sing a special song to her. Mom was in and out while we were all saying our final thoughts but I just know she heard every bit of it and found the comfort she needed to go to her final resting place. I sit by her side as I type to ensure she knows she's not alone during this time.

The family is beginning to plan for the funeral. In keeping with Jewish tradition, the service will fall one-two days after the death and will be followed by sitting shiva. We suspect that will be sometime this coming week. Please keep checking the blog as this will be where we’ll share the details (date/time/place). Any family and friends are welcome to attend the service.

We can’t thank you enough for the outpours of love and support—it truly meant the world to my Mom to hear from all of her favorite people, and it certainly kept all of us going.

With love,

jen

Dear Mom

Look at the outpours of love and support you have on this blog, the cards that are overflowing out of your room, the pretty pictures the kids have sent you (so many that nurses ask if you're a teacher!), and all the flowers that have come and gone. You are so loved.

And look at what you've been through this past month. More than many will ever endure in a lifetime. Your surgeon said you're tougher than most he's seen when faced with the challenges you were given. You are so strong.

And look at your smile. Not one of us can imagine or know how weak and sick you must feel but even on your "bad days" you still give us that smile that we all know and love. Or you point with that finger that we all know well when you're trying to tell us something. Or you roll those big brown eyes at us. You are so beautiful.

You have taught me so much in life, wisdom that I'll always carry and pass on to others. You have always, always been by my side. You are my best friend.

And now you are tired and sick. And it's ok if you want to rest your eyes, I'll be there when you open them. You deserve peace and comfort and I promise I'll give that to you in spades, however I can, just as you would do for me. I'll always be with you.

Just always remember--you are my #1 and you will always be my hero.

I love you, mommy.

Your daughter

I love the good days

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share some thoughts today as I sit here with Mom. I arrived at my daily time of 11am and she was up, alert and sitting in her chair! She looks great--we requested she get a good hair wash and "style" from the night nurse and bless her soul, she even tried to make mom's hair look like it does in all of her photos. Not sure Mom would agree, but it works.

So today we spend the day together--watching the snow fall, listening to the 24 hour coverage of the storm on the TV (which mom is already annoyed with--give us our morning tv shows!), and we chat--I read her cards and some of the posts on the blog and we pass the time together.

For now we're focused on working on weaning down the ventilator so we can go home--that's our collective goal and Mom is all for it. So we'll remain positive and focused on that. And for every minute in between we'll cherish each other and all of you.

Thanks again for the outpours of calls, cards, comments--we love it all. We'll likely be in this same room until we're able to leave in case you want to send a card:

Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania

Rhoads Building, Room 5018

3400 Spruce Street

Philadelphia, PA 19104

Love to all,

jen

Kate's current status

It saddens us to have to write this update as we all have fought so hard and come so far---ESPECIALLY Mom. But unfortunately God has other plans.

We met with Mom's team of doctors last night and received the unfortunate news that her Cancer is aggressively spreading. It is currently throughout her brain and into her bone marrow. With such news the doctors explained that even if Mom was healthy enough to try chemotherapy in the next few weeks, there currently isn't a successful treatment for Colon Cancer that's matasisized to the brain.

She is still struggling with her breathing so she now has a tracheotomy to help her. We hope she will improve some so we can hear her talk again and ideally take her home to rest comfortably, but the doctors say that we may not have that chance.

For now, her immediate family is by her side and ensuring she's comfortable and at ease. We are gauging the situation day by day and when the time comes to make the decision about her living will, we will have to say goodbye.

We continue to share everyone's love and prayers with Mom as she's able to communicate with us through head nods and hand motions. We can't thank you enough for your continued support and I personally want to emphasize how thankful my Mom is. If the situation were different, she'd be hand writing each and every one of you a personal note (not an email!). :)

Stay tuned to the blog for next steps, we are imaging we'll need to say our goodbyes within the upcoming weeks, not months. We will certainly let everyone know when the time comes and we will post all of the information here on the blog for the service details.

Thanks again and much, much love to all. God bless.

Jen, Albert, Jake, Shawn, Lisa & Steph

20 Blocks, 20 Inches of Snow, 1 Amazing MOM!

Philadelphia might be in snow emergency but nothing will stop us from helping mom get through this difficult fight. Unfortunately, mom had her breathing tube reinserted early this morning. While her pneumonia seems to be slowly improving, her oxygen levels still aren't ideal. The nurses and doctors are working around the clock here to stay ahead of every possible thing that could be going on. So we remain in the ICU until we know everything is stable. I can't believe it is day 16 in this hospital, who would have thought, especially my mom--she hates doctors!!! But here we are. Mom misses everyone, especially her 6 grandkids!!

I know many of you would love to see to Kate but while she is in the ICU it is best we don't have visitors in or out. She is just not up for it yet. But we continue to share your cards, comments and sentiments so don't hold back. So for now, keep praying and cherish life. Tell someone you love them, give a hug, forgive someone, raise a glass, be happy. That's what mom wants for all of us. I love you all, you give me the strength I need each and every day.

xoxox,

Jen

Today is gonna be a good day.

I'm getting ready for my daily routine of heading down highway 76 to see Mom as soon as the visiting hours start in the ICU. And I have a feeling today is going to be a good day.

Mom had GREAT progress yesterday, she was able to get her breathing tube removed! It's still a bit TBD if it will stay out for good as it's taking a lot of energy still for Mom to keep her breathing regular, so we're trying to not celebrate prematurely. But she did good throughout the night which we hope is a good indicator for the tube staying out!

Mom's still not talking much because it takes a lot of energy that she's saving for breathing and fighting (and her throat is a bit soar from having that damn tube). But when I packed up my bags last night and gave her a kiss goodnight, I got an extra special treat. I've been saying to her each night "see you tomorrow, same place, same time, we have a date" and last night I said to her "same time same place" and she nodded and said "we have a date, I love you jen." I never knew how much hearing those words (or any words) out of her mouth would mean to me until that very moment.

So with that, I'm gonna say again, today is gonna be a good day. I can't wait to pop into mom's room with a big smile. I tell her she's my hero and each day that she fights I mean it that much more.

I feel we're turning the corner, keep the prayers and sentiments coming. We love them all and all of you!

Hugs,

jen

A "WISH"

Mom,

I WISH I could take your place and breathe for you so you can relax.
I WISH I could take all the pain for you so you don't have to click the button.
I WISH for you to continue this FIGHT.
I WISH for you to come home soon to watch the birds on the new feeder I put up for you.
I WISH that God continues to give you and our family the strength, energy and love that we have.

We might have lost round 1 because of a technicality (the leak). I feel confident with the coaching that Dad, Jake, Jen, Steph, Lisa, Family, friends and I will give you, your going to take over in round 2. Keep fighting the "FIGHT".

Shawn David Ostrich

Upswing

It's been 24 hours since I've seen mom and I must say that things are really on the upswing!! She's really starting to breathe more on her own and they're thinking about removing the tube tomorrow. I also had the privilege of meeting "dearest Jeremy" for the first time as he routinely visits mom in her room. We all can't wait until mom can talk with us and also tell us how much she loves all the pictures that the kids have made for her.

Here's to talking to mom tomorrow!

Jake

Slowly turning the corner

Quick report from the ICU. The Docs seem pleased today with Mom's progress. While we're not out of the woods yet and will remain in ICU for now, things are trending the right direction. Mom has made good progress with her breathing and her vital signs are more in check now.

We've had some good chats today--of course she just nods and now she spells things out with her fingers. I usually can guess what she's saying after one or two tries :)

Earlier today we put on some spa music and gave her a leg and foot massage. That got a thumbs up! Dad and I are just sitting quietly with her now as the evening winds down.

Here's to more positive news coming each day!!

Love to all,

jen