Jen's Speech

We thought for those of you who were not part of the service we could share the things we read about Kate. We will each post our own, so for now, here is mine (for the lyrics at the end, I actually played the song Forever Young, I knew my mom would want the music playing!).

Dear Mom,

Among the many things I will always cherish, our written sentiments are on the top of my list. You were always the first card I received in the mail no matter the holiday--Halloween, valentine’s day or my birthday. And each time I came back to your house to visit, there was always a note left in my bedroom welcoming me and then I started leaving you notes back at the end of my visits so you’d find them when you next came up to my room. And there are just so many other notes in between—thank yous, cards that just said how much you loved me or were proud of me and of course the cards we recently exchanged after our fun-filled weekend in LA.

So here is one more written sentiment to add to our collection. I could go on and on with stories and memories but instead, in this letter I want to tell you some of the many things I love and honor about you, specifically 8 things you’ve taught me that I promise to never lose sight of.

You taught me what true friendship is—how to know when you have it and how to hold onto it.

You always said if I could count my true best friends on one hand to consider that lucky. Many friends would come and go in my life you said, but if there were a few that always remained, I’d be blessed. You helped me see that those friends would be the most loyal and trustworthy and you taught me that those traits are invaluable. You’ve helped me be the best friend I possibly can to those around me.

You taught me that honesty and trust prevail.

You always said that you’ll trust someone until they give you a reason not to, and then trust has to be earned back. I’ll never forget how that theory got tested when I lied to you in high school about where I was going and you found out I was at a party and boy if you didn’t waste time calling the party and ultimately showing up (of course I was already making a b-line home to try and sneak back into bed). But beyond that, you helped me see that people deserve the benefit of the doubt, that life is too short to live through mistrust. But if something changes that, then you must work together to regain that trust.

You taught me that the simplest things in life are the most meaningful.

You always said you didn’t care about gifts, that if I made the effort to pick out a card for you and write a nice note that’s all you wanted. You loved spending time with your family—to you, that’s so much of what life was about. So as I matured, I learned to appreciate our simple things together that much more--the trips to the mall, the lunches, the manicures, the morning phone calls, the texts and emails that we’d share when we thought of something to tell one another or just the ones that said “ you go girl, I love you.”

You taught me about give and take—that you don’t give to get, and acts of love and kindness shouldn’t come with expectation.

You are one of the most generous people I know. The love and devotion you give to your family and friends are immeasurable. And how you have showered all of us and your grandkids with everything we could ever want. You always said you didn’t grow up with much and it made you so happy to be able to give us things you never had. And through all of that, it was never about you needing or wanting something in return, you were fulfilled just by the sheer act of being kind.

You taught me life is best lived at its fullest.

If there’s one thing for sure, Mom, you enjoyed yourself. You weren’t afraid to indulge in your favorite things (and you always said you were worse when we were together) whether it be a hunk of candy, a glass of Pinot Grigio or a good dinner out. And you always had fun. Give you a dance floor, a microphone, a golf club, a home filled with hungry kids, a beautiful day outside, anything. You bring so much energy to all you do, you truly lived life to the fullest. And in honor of you, I will always do the same.

You taught me what it means to be wise.

You thought sometimes because you didn’t work in the “corporate world” and operate computers, etc that you weren’t as smart as some. But the things I’ve learned from you are among the most significant and more than any professor, classroom or job could ever teach me. The things I share with you in this letter and millions of other things you’ve taught me along the way. Just like your mother, my Nana, you are wise. And I can only hope that I’ll be as wise as you some day.

You taught me what it means to be unselfish.

As a mother, a wife, a grandmother, and friend—you always put others ahead of yourself. If someone needed something, they didn’t even need to ask and you’d be there. You worried and cared to such an incredible degree if those around you were happy and fulfilled and you did everything you could to ensure it stayed that way. You never put yourself ahead of others. You gave so much of yourself to others and especially me. Beyond anyone else in my entire life, I always knew you were there for me, no matter what. And that’s why when it came down to it, me and my life became secondary and there was no place else I would’ve ever been than right by your side during this past month, because you would’ve been right by mine. You’re my #1.

Finally, you taught me what unconditional love is.

From everything I mentioned above and for everything you’ve done for me throughout my life, it’s clear that you love me unconditionally. But I feel I really put our love to a test when I told you I wanted to move out to California to find my own path, to paint a bright new canvas for myself. You were none too pleased about it when I first mentioned it and I think part of you was hoping I’d never actually do it. But just as you taught me to never give up on my dreams, I made this dream a reality. And it was my 33^rd birthday, about 6 weeks before I moved that I realized once again how truly amazing of a mother you are.

You had me over for my birthday dinner, with ice cream cake of course, and you showered me with a big bag of gifts. Filled in that bag was all things Philadelphia—Eagles, Phillies, a sticker for my soon to be new car, and other fun things for my new apartment so I’d never forget where I came from. And then at the bottom of the bag was a ring box. And in that box was one of your gorgeous pieces of jewelry that Dad had given you and that I always loved and you wanted to hand down to me. You told me you wanted to watch me wear it in good health, while you were still on this earth and you wanted a part of you to always be with me even if more miles would now be between us.

It was at that moment that I realized that while you were the person I knew I was hurting the most by making this move and going so far, you truly were my biggest supporter. And that’s when I understood how unconditional your love was for me. I remember I sent you an email to that effect a few days after my birthday just telling you how moved I was and how incredible you are. And you replied:

“Hi Jen, just read your letter. You deserve everything I gave u and more. I will always save this letter, very touching, your mommy always ooxx”

And ever since I moved away, you’ve been my biggest cheerleader—so proud of the move I made and the life I created. And the visit we shared in LA together this past October was the best gift you could have ever given me, I just so wish it wasn’t our last.

Before I end my letter to you Mom, I have one closing sentiment. On a very special day in my life, my Bat Mitzvah, you read to me the words of Rod Stewart’s song, Forever Young. And ever since then it’s been “our song.”

I remember running on the beach a few months ago and the song came on my iPod and I re-listened to the words and realized with the new found distance between us the words took on an even greater meaning. When I said that to you, you agreed, as you too had recently heard the song.

Well as I’m here now writing you this letter, the song has now taken on an even more significant meaning. So I’ll play the song for you, and I’ll say to you, Mom, you will always be my #1, you’ll remain forever young in my heart.

I love you.

jen

FOREVER YOUNG, Rod Stewart

May the good Lord be with you

Down every road you roam

And may sunshine and happiness

surround you when you're far from home

And may you grow to be proud

Dignified and true

And do unto others

As you'd have done to you

Be courageous and be brave

And in my heart you'll always stay

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

May good fortune be with you

May your guiding light be strong

Build a stairway to heaven

with a prince or a vagabond

And may you never love in vain

and in my heart you will remain

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young

Forever Young

And when you finally fly away

I'll be hoping that I served you well

For all the wisdom of a lifetime

No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose

I'm right behind you, win or lose

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young ,Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

For, Forever Young, Forever Young